Saturday, May 23, 2009
HOW ARE YOU???
So, my computer still doesn't work. :( I was talking to shirley the other day on MSN and then my computer froze. Sooo frustrating. I don't know what to do. I always expect things to take care of themselves and I never know when to get someone else involved.
I'm at work :( on a Saturday. I just got paid yesterday Shirley!!! That means snail mail for you!!
I went to my psychiatrist appt sometime after I blogged last. I'm not sure how I feel about it. She diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. At first I was relieved and glad I wouldn't have to wait and see what happens after I no longer take the medicine. But now, after talking with a friend, I'm not so happy. Of course she is down in the slumps so i know her outlook is only negative for now, but it made me question a lot of things....will my disorder be controlled by medicine or will i ruin friendships and other relationships.?
I also have a room mate problem. :( Me and my present room mate are splitting ways. I had other friends that needed a room mate but now that seems to be falling through. So now...my only option as of yet is my parents house....and that's not such a healthy place for me. No one wants me to go there-even my doctors. No offense to my parents but that home is not a home...it's a bad memory. Jake says I have a lot of time to try and find a room mate but again i'm scared i'll just ruin another relationship because my meds stop working or something. People who aren't bipolar don't really understand what it's like to fall into a depression that gets worse each time. Or what it's like to feel like you can't move out from your car. You don't want life to go on because you don't know how to handle anything.
I had a borderline moment last night. I haven't really had any because my medicine has been doing so well, but medicine doesn't work as well for being borderline. Borderline is corrected or contained by cognitive therapy. Hmmm....:( A lot of work. I'm ready to be done with all of this really. Done with overreacting to things and feeling along and not wanting to be alone. I want to be fun and rational, but I'm scared I wont get that back.
There are a lot of people who I wish I could go back and say I'm sorry, but I feel it wouldn't make a difference.
Well. GOTZ TO GO!
MISS YOU SHIRLEY!!!
-An Qi
Best Friends Ever9:12 AM
BLOG OWNERS
♥ Holly Spargo An Qi
Scorpio
Oct 30
Enjoys Traveling, Reading, Writing, Teaching at church, Psychology, Starbucks, Sushi and Noodles.
``I like trying new things, as long as I'm with friends.
I have my ups and downs and i'm not perfect-I'm just trying to figure things out. I hope you can understand. :)
♥ Shirley Kwek
Gemini
June 18
Enjoys Traveling, Reading, Badminton, Swimming, Sightseeing, Movies, Pizza, Starbucks, Biology.
``I'm random and always up for a good laugh. I like comfortable silences, knowing someone so well that you don't have to speak. I find intelligence hot and strong personalities even more. Dislike being confined.
OUR WISHLIST
♥♥♥
1. To achieve all those stated below
2. World Peace
3. Travel Around the World
4. Enjoy life and be with our loved ones
5. Have a good Career
6. End of Genocide Around the Globe
7. Our First Million
8. Stop Abortion
9. Work and Settle Abroad
10. A Friend in each country
11. Good Grades for our Academic
12. Lesser Homework for now
...to be continued. :D